Characters: Yes Man, F!Courier
Rating: It’s cool for all the ages.
Summary: This was supposed to be a continuation of this fic but I got a little carried away and straight up sex just isn’t my forte.
Okay I have to organise my thoughts for this
Firstly the RATING DECIEVED ME THERE’S DICKS IN HERE OMG omg
secondly this is AMAZINGLY CUTE and your writing definitely feels like it’s ramped up in style! Good job! Plus I don’t know why you like using Roxie so much but I’m really thankful ; A ; It’s great to just read their friendship going on alongside their escapades and really flashes out the imagination aspect beside the gameplay.
I can’t get over how sweet Yes Man is, new body stuff will ALWAYS get me and he’s so innocent and hopeful, it breaks my heart but I still go for it over and over again anyway
And from a technical point of view, you threaded the ideas through very well. It doesn’t feel like the intimate scene at the start was the startup idea you ran with, it’s actually very justified in showing how unsure he is, how he hasn’t really accepted the existence of his physical needs yet, and that he could use someone to trust with helping out. We get told of Roxie feeling alone in life during a conversation, but we actually see it in practice with Yes Man not having anyone he’s comfortable confiding in until provoked, too guilty and ashamed of himself to ask. So it draws that parallel between them from the beginning as people who would fit well together.
Plus, you did really well fleshing out Yes Man’s bubbly innocence to point out how new he is to just about everything, and then having him notice how much older Candy seemed. She’s seen a lot and done a lot that he may not even know about, so they might not be as well suited for each other as he thinks. We know his emotions are unreliable, since he’s not used to figuring them out. It gives it the sense that Yes Man is conflagrating his feeling of ‘connection’ with someone as a close friend, carrying forward all his previous relationships to this new body, with a bunch of hormones and desires he’s not used to controlling. In short he’s a big confused mess with no idea how to calm himself down with difficulty differentiating between friend-love and physical love. It’s probably for the best that he’s turned down early so he can start getting a grip on everything.
But that doesn’t make it any easier to read. ; n ; MY HEART. Oh gosh babies
Don’t go saying this ‘wasn’t that good’ because I think it’s got a ton of quality moments that make a lot of sense, and you REALLY GOT ME IN THE FEELS THANKS
Great job ; ~ ;